Thursday, 26 December 2019

moving on without leaving behind - 2

This blog represented a very unique and very significant phase - where I was least bothered with human world and this blog served as a place where I talked to myself.

That phase, no matter how much I loved it, has ended. Focus on only nature was like mother's milk - truly Amrut but not weaning away not an option. Warning signs appeared frequently in this blog - starting as long back as April '14, less than a year of start here. and for last many months its more or less clear that I have 'shifted' from world I narrated out here. As I was shifting mentally from nature ex-human to human world, had two choices. One, continue here itself with new focus or Two, let this place be with its original flavour - can come back with posts that fit in here no matter how infrequently / after how long gap. I chose the second option.

As one of the old post here says 'moving on without leaving behind' - I am sure those moments - years with pure nature wont ever be left behind even as I move on.

(yes, as it implies, I have 'shifted' and not ceased to exist. where to? may be some other time.)

Saturday, 16 February 2019


Few sq feet of land and all you have to do is to not do anything. its so good to see how much life starts appearing in no time. (I have kind of forgotten to spend time with camera so don't have shots but variety of life around is much more I think. at least have seen few spiders including my favourite - jumping spider and couple of colourful insects, some beautiful weed flowers.)

Thursday, 1 November 2018


Beautiful Papdi flowers are attracting Sunbirds and they (or probably it was just wonderful morning sunlight) made me spend some time watching them with the camera

Few other neighbours who from time to time keep reminding to take the camera out.  

Wednesday, 25 April 2018

New Morning friends

My camera is back with me (it was away since I relocated). No matter how less I use it these days, I did miss it. Though now that its back, all I have used if so far is for these couple of morning appearances. After long long time.. some 17-18 years that we have sparrows around home. Good to see that at least here they are still around.

Though the camera is back, I don't expect shots to appear on blog in coming weeks for, my attention is diverted to something else. May talk about it in some other post probably.

Monday, 5 March 2018

Difficult Writing

The other day, I was at this thought nth time - 'Only form of charity allowed should be completely anonymous'.

Now, if you are like me - who often find irritating people - irritating, you may know they come in many distinct varieties and classes. What you probably may not know is, people like me, even when lucky to not be facing them, sometime simulate their presence. and I slipped this time. "Do you know anyone who helps anonymously?" (believe me such a question can come from people ranging from almost innocent momentary fools to .. to people at other extreme.). Now, as this problem was only imagined by my own mind - it quickly disposed it off - i.e. I did not go on path of thinking of how I might deal with such a person (yes, person, not the question) if it was a real life, rather, thought chain proceeded to how a game can be created around such question.

The Game will have two sides. say A and B.
Side A will be given undisclosed amount of money, it can spend any amount out of it in either declared charity or anonymous charity or it can spend /save (in disclosed or undisclosed manner) for own use.
Goals of both sides to score points
Side B: arrive at as accurate estimate as possible as to how much if any anonymous charity is done by Side A.
Side A: Make side B reach a conclusion as close as possible to what you (side A) want it to reach.
We can as well as have both sides playing roles of side A and B simultaneously.

(Just in case if someone is wondering why side A's goal should not be simply hide anonymous' charity as far as possible - Its because here we assume that charity was done at initial stages of the game. and later people might want to encash good things done under the influence of momentary rise of Satvgun. So side A might as well be wanting to disclose or even exaggerate their charity at later stages.)

To win, one would need to understand what the other person is thinking and then deliver message in such a way that other party reaches at the conclusion you want him to reach - What we do every moment in real life anyway (even when there is no 'manipulation' possibly desired as in this game). Which is why talking one to one sounds simple on many occasions compared to (non one to one) writing, which is like arriving at a generalised single communication where you try to put things in a manner that irrespective of differing ways of looking at it by different people, you still more or less convey what you want to convey. One on one communication on the other hand is where you deal with one scenario at a time and have liberty to tailor your communication for that specific scenario only.

In short, to write (something sensible) one needs full clarity about what he/she is saying in a comprehensive way and need to hold that clarity long enough to put that on paper. (doesn't it happen often that you get flash of enlightenment - in which everything is so clear, but in few moments that clarity is gone?)

There were few phases when I was a voracious reader. during one such phase, around 2005-06 I even thought of trying to write. Yes, when that thought came to mind, I was foolish enough to think that one can pick up a keyboard and start writing. That foolishness however vanished even before I picked up keyboard as I realised I could not write a single word. I wanted to write science fiction stories - without knowing science, or any other skill / knowledge that was prerequisite for writing. So, I kept on reading for next couple of years both (popular) science books and fiction in hope that one day I will learn. After which my attention got diverted / I realised it was beyond me to be able to write in near future so targeted efforts ceased.

When I started this blog - where there is no science, no fiction, no exact stories, I learned that even this simple writing was much more difficult at times compared to narrating same thing to someone in person. in fact, my estimate is that at least 80-90% of the ideas that come up are lost due to my lack of writing ability. or as I now understand with more clarity - its due to my (in)abilities wrt to seeing things clearly / comprehensively / holding the clarity long enough.

As much as I find writing not easy, I find it to be very helpful for anyone who wants to criticise something - i.e. when you start writing and in the process try to see situation at hand from all possible angles (apart from your own angle that you were looking at it so far), often, you(I) find what deserves highest criticism is your own point. - okay, you are still left with blank document, but the clarity and humility you gain is worth all the effort, isn't it?

Thursday, 1 March 2018

Back. (Not so sure about forward)

Back to home state. I have relocated many times before and finally, looks like I have learned my lessons. by now I knew the phenomena where you suddenly 'realise' how good the place you just left behind was and where you see how the new place is so highly inadequate on so many fronts. and therefore, even as I was shifting from UP - place that had really tested my confidence to relocate anywhere to 'my own' Gujarat, I knew as soon as I shift, 'back home's' definition will flip and so I was ready this time. So, does it mean I escaped those 'realisations?' of course not, but I could see them with the feeling 'see, I knew this would happen' instead of usual frustration that comes when you take those 'realisations' for real. Even then, had I not decided to keep ranting as low as possible here, I would have gone ahead with a post titled 'Kuchh din to gujaro Gujarat main'.

So, I no longer have as many species around me, none of those hundreds of trees, around most of which I have some or other memory from past few years. and of course there is no Ganga at few mins walk anymore. and yet, as expected, I managed to leave the old place the moment I left it, for, there was no sense of incompleteness about my time there.

While no match for the old home, I am not all that alone at new place either. This neighbour of mine did give me a cautious welcome on day one and our familiarity has increased to comfortable level now.

With such a long time away from this blog, getting back to it feels like making a fresh start, let me see if I manage it in now changed setting.

Friday, 27 October 2017

A Pause

As you know I need to relocate and before that need to decide where to. So, kind of busy, okay not that busy but anyhow I think this long pause on blogger may continue for some more time. another month or two at least I guess. Hope to be back again once the transition phase is past its mid-point.