Myopia - Summary

I have talked about this subject couple of times before, last time I had promised to write more useful post. Here is the attempt.

History of my own myopia (and how I mismanaged everything about it):

First prescription was -1.75 at the age of around 8, kept adding -0.50 to it at every visit to eye doctor every six months to a year till it reached -6.50/-7.00 at age when he assured it wont rise further. I had strictly worn glasses for each moment when my eyes were open, used huge sized frames that left no room for eyes to catch a glimpse of world directly. Soon after I started working, equally diligently I switched to contact lenses as recommended by the eye doctor - wearing them would help arresting further deterioration was the professional advise - as it would be even more effective in doing what those huge frame glasses did. (Okay, getting rid of those ugly glasses were also a motivation - enough of it even if doctor had not recommended.) - with work, computers screens became inevitable part of the day.

Inexplicably, viewing experience did not improve and even started getting worse - some of it was resolved when I got number rechecked - with higher prescription, though increased astigmatism could not be taken care - with lenses not supporting that correction (at that time at least) plus some other deterioration simply started becoming part of life - say dry eyes towards end of the day which slowly progressed to dry eye as soon as I put on lenses. and of course, I had forgotten what a clear and comfortable viewing experience is. In few years I had reached prescription of -10 / -10.25 sph, -1 cyl in both eyes. I had hit the bottom but at least after a long time, I found this new prescription accurate and satisfactory. (I escaped having my eyes operated to reduce myopia at this moment purely because my luck prevailed over my stupidity)

Some three years later, I was again at eye doctor's place - with mom, for her eye checkup. Given that my specs had become nearly opaque due to scratches, even though I had no problem with my prescription, I thought of getting numbers rechecked before making new specs. Indeed, fresh numbers were almost identical to what I was using for so long. btw, during these first of its kind three years when my eyesight didn't deteriorate, I had abandoned my lenses and switched back to glasses, my computer usage had gradually decreased, time with nature increased- trying to find bird among the trees near and far.

Few uncorrelated things happened over next two and half years. My computer + net rarely worked, my interest got shifted from birds to macro photography which changed how my eyes needed to work while photographing as well as time spent under the Sun (which increased significantly) and, in 2013 later half, I managed to find a remedy for my hyper acidity that had reached so troubling level that each day had become a nightmare.

End result of all these (plus probably ageing on my side) was that since mid 2014 my viewing experience through glasses, which was steady for nearly six years now, started deteriorating again - this time for a different reason. My Myopia had reversed its direction. As I had mentioned in my first post on this topic in January 2015 - it was reduced by a good -1.5D to be -9.00 now. Next year there was another reduction of -1D to -8.00 and now, its -7.50.

So, what all things appear to have contributed to my years of horrible viewing experience and what helped reversing the situation?

What Harmed
Near stress - both more time spent focusing near and continuously focusing at same near distance
Lack of time outdoors and under the Sun
Contact Lenses - By far the most horrible thing to have happened to me

What Helped
Reversal of all of above factors
My hyper acidity remedy - Triphala. Even as all the stress factors were reversed for more than five years, my eye sight only had steadied, it didn't start improving until after few months of me using triphala every day. Later, when I was experiencing significant near stress as I continued to use higher powered glasses for few months, also discovered value of triphala eye wash as immediate eye comfort. Its simply amazing.
Macro photography helped in more than one ways I think. Macro subjects often required to concentrate longer for perfect focus as well it was mostly with Sun in front and not back (not looking at Sun, but its still in front) - as a result my eyes often felt concentration 'stress' and responded with producing tears. - This I think produced much the same effect as 'Tratak'. Second, macro photography required much more steadiness - physical and mental. I guess that should have helped to improve Vata balance.

Now, I could have written most of above in my March '16 post as well. Why I didn't do it then? its because I had a feeling of missing something. listing out stress factors and set of DOs and Don'ts didn't look like very right way to understand the issue. But then something happened last year which made things clearer. Last year, couple of months were difficult - as in they ended up vitiating my Vata and Pitta quite a lot. Among all other impact it had, my numbers, which had reduced to -7.25 by then went back to -8.00 or even slightly worse. Now, during this sharp deterioration, none of the stress factors were in place and eye specific lifestyle was as good as it could be. yet, I did not wonder why it happened - for, I 'knew' it was due to deterioration of Vata and pitta. You know it takes some time before I realise what I already know. So, that's what I was missing - more elegant solution to eye health and unsurprisingly it tells us that eyes are part of our body - they dont work in isolation/as a stand alone system. and when I look back at all those years since childhood when my numbers were going from bad to worse - what was happening with by Vata Pitta balance? yes, trend was exactly the same.

Let me try to explain with an example. Say, Someone's bones are very weak. Now, he can try to save say his hand from fracture by protecting hands well. Similarly if he is interested in avoiding leg fracture, he can be extra careful about leg protection. but despite all these extra care, there is always risk of fractures so far as underlying bone weakness exist. Now, if he can get rid of his bone weakness, he need not worry about each and every bone specifically. Focusing on all-out eye specific care is like protecting specific bone. (and then similarly you go and do specific things for your skin, for your liver, heart...) Maintaining your Vata, Pitta and Kaph in balance is like strengthening bones. 

Does that mean you can go ahead and expose your eyes to any or all stressors? Well.. what do you think will happen to even someone with strong bones if he engages in.. in any bone-breaking activity? Similarly, even if you maintain overall vata pitta balance, constant stressors to eyes can disturb local vata pitta and show effects. Fair usage policy always apply.

ન જાણ્યું જાનકીનાથે સવારે શું થવાનું છે

Meaning of the heading (a line from a poem) is, even Ram could not know what was going to happen next morning. 

Topic of this post is something I loved to learn and play with (and still do). I tried to talk about it few times (many posts had 'background' that I hoped to use), but failed. Now, with previous post as background, I guess I can finally get to it. If you are wondering what could warrant such hesitation - let me straight away introduce the subject. Its ज्योतिष (Astrology). 

I had heard amateurish (enthusiastic, basic level) mention of it since childhood - which grah is in whose home, when he is happy / irritated / strong / weak, who are friends, enemies, their nature and what not. i.e. they were familiar identities. They were part of life just like hundreds of other Pauranic and historical characters who had made themselves familiar through all the stories around them. All these was fine but there was some discomfort as well - that of faladesh (forecasts). Okay, there was no real reason for that discomfort - If despite me growing up in a culture where many people preferred worshipping Sakar Gods, where I got fully familiar and comfortable with all the historical as well as Puranic characters and their mutual interactions, if no one from same culture ever bothered that I didn't show interest in worshipping rituals, or asked if Nirakar variety interests me or that if at least I had considered Nirgun Idea, and similarly, if I never found other's preferences my business, why should faladesh bother me? It was for those who believe in it, believe in it, right? still, I felt I should argue against forecasting and forecasts. but how to argue against something you haven't studied?

So, one morning, I said, I will study Jyotish so that when someone tells me its because of xyz why such and such thing happened, I can speak in language they understand and express my arguments against faladesh. Started with making tables with basic entities, relationships, characteristics etc etc and then it was reading some tutorials, various forums, some blogs, articles, multiple viewpoints, learning few things, unlearning many others every day and my own kundli to experiment my latest level of skill each day-end. Why I had started studying in no way interfered with how I studied - this learning had become a pure 'play' for me the moment I started. btw, one of the first things I 'saw' in my kundli was it had favourable indications for me learning astrology and I was so happy, and soon I see I could die in coming months and that was scary.. 

But forecasts apart, before I reach there, I had to learn basics about chart preparation (yes, software makes it for you these days, but you need to know what it means). I think it was first time I understood my own calendar, rather understood what a calendar is. My appreciation of it and disappointment at we not making use of it for no good reason have already found place in some of my earlier posts.

Back to forecasting, actually, that was immensely useful too from the very beginning - a highly non social person, who was also adamant on not working, it kept me connected to few people who had volunteered to be my test subjects. and then, a single - yet spectacular (well, for the person concerned at least) and exact prediction coming true against all odds - took control out of my hands - now I had a group with lot of faith in my forecasting skills irrespective of what I wanted them to believe.

As I learned to look at kundli in newer ways, interpretation of same kundli often changed drastically every six months to a year, but for long enough, I could hold on to my initial view that all these was, at best, good entertainment. and that you could get accepted as good astrologer if you are good with language and psychology. Also, I never tried to gain in-depth/ detailed/classically accepted level of forecasting abilities by considering all levels of looking at chart or learning all rules/yogs. I slowly settled at Kundli reading based on kind of what I 'feel' when it look at it, rather than trying to be accurate or detailed as per rules.

I didn't realise when my understanding changed by how much, but the way I look at Jyotish today is something completely different from anything I might have imagined in early 2009 while deciding to learn it. Today, I see it as something that primarily serves the learner - i.e. if I want benefits out of it, best way to do is to learn, not find a Jyotishi. Its a bit like, if I want to swim, I need to learn swimming, finding someone who knows swimming may not be of much help. okay, he can rescue me or teach swimming, but not much beyond it.

So, what it does to the learner (as I see it)? If I try to think of shortest possible answer, it would be, it leaves no option but to take responsibility of own life experience. And, it doesn't stop just there, it also helps with strategies to excel at your responsibility. (Now, Nature always have multiple ways to achieve anything. so by no means, I am suggesting learning Jyotish is the only way to get these benefits - what I am saying is, this is what a learner can get out of it. and isnt it nice to learn few core things again and again in very different ways?).

How?

ok, I realise answering this 'How?' right here may make this post unduly lengthy and it may not be the best thing to start writing about it when reader is already in mood to glance at length of the remaining text. and I guess, its this feeling why I have got stuck at this point for more than a week now. So, let me try to answer it in next post.

so, what is my स्वधर्म?

I belonged to that lucky era when children did not start formal education much before five. Okay, I did attend a nearby run-from-home 'Bal Mandir' before turning five, and also it wasn't completely no impact period - till date, my favourite snack is Sev-Mamara exactly how I eat then - home made, low oil, no masalas except haldi and salt, 80 percent Mamara, 20 percent Sev.

But that luck could only help till five and I was sent to a big Reputed school one day. A huge hall, hundreds of in-uniform, disciplined (behaviourally standardised), energetic, smiling, smart children; teachers with friendly but still authoritative tone and an air that expected those who breath it in - to fit in. Needless to say, I almost felt breathless. As soon as I reached home, I declared, I wouldn't go there again. and I didn't go there again. (unknown to me then, but mom too wasn't in favour of me going there - but anyway, I still think, it was 'largely' my decision to not go to that school.). I happily spent first three years of my schooling at a govt school - during whole of that period my only learning related school memory is that of 'once' answering some arithmetic question from last row, rather, that of getting up from the sitting position on the floor to standing position to answer, as I don't remember question or answer. (it was no frills classroom and so no benches). I guess those were the most productive years of my education. I learned alphabets and numbers, sentences and basic arithmetic, got into habit of reading (story)books and the most important of all - started learning to to learn. Why they could become academically the most productive years is due to the two things. One - I was introduced to reading, writing, calculation, books (mostly by parents).. and two - I was never asked to 'work' towards acquiring those abilities. It was pure 'play'.

I wont bore you with my detailed biography but in later years too - be it study, work or even simple everyday situations, while not exceptional, I think I did well enough whenever I was 'playing' and it was almost always a disaster when I was expected to either fit in or Work, specially when I actually tried to fit-in / Work.

In what exact sense I am using words play and work? Play is purely for its own sake, not for anything else. There are no concepts like usefulness, compulsion (mandated by anybody other than self), expected and/or desired reward that is different from activity undertaken (i.e. I study because I want to study - is play. I study because it will help me gain social approval / prove me a better student compared to others / will land me a good job etc are work - where study is work for which there is external reward - someone's acceptance / praise of me / a good job etc.).

So, when it comes to my स्वधर्म - first condition is, I am not best suited for Work. I better play, rather, I can only play. Trying to Work starts self destruction process instantaneously.

Now, play what? Sparing you of details of arriving at /explanation to the answer, the best suited play for me is to learn, to understand, to be aware of. and subjects that I pick up for learning(playing) keep presenting themselves to me - in no specific order. and you know where I am most lucky? I started so much unaware, unlearned, that life experience can potentially be somewhat like.. when you are hungry.. rather malnourished and presented with Chappan bhog.

This probably also explains why I find myself most at home on alive land with lots of native species living happily. If you want to do anything, its best done in setting where everyone else too enjoys same thing. and, I think, when it comes to playing, learning, and most importantly, being aware, any random species can beat human hands down (taking average representative vs average representative while not downplaying variations of individualities of any species). Obviously then a happy family of native species is a perfect setting. Isn't it?